Welcome to Scenario Week! This week, we’re getting back to our roots with some good old-fashioned crappy beaters, but instead of just leaving you to your own devices to choose between them, I’m going to give you a use-case scenario, and it will be up to you to choose which car fits that mission better.
We finished up last week with a couple of just-barely-under-$8,000 cars from Southern California, and as I might have guessed, the tired old Mustang just couldn’t hold its own against that gorgeous BMW. The green machine from Germany took eighty percent of the vote. I knew I should have looked for another automatic; that might have evened the playing field a little bit.
That BMW is beautiful, and if it’s as good mechanically as they say, it’s a good deal. But there’s just something about that Mustang that calls to me. Maybe it’s because my dad wouldn’t let me buy a ’73 Mustang after my Scirocco died (well, he said I could buy it, but he’d stop paying for my insurance). Or maybe it’s just my Charlie Brown complex; I go for the rattiest Christmas tree on the lot because “it needs me.” Whatever it is, I’ll take the Mustang – assuming the non-enhanced photos are an honest assessment of its condition.
Now then: Our first scenario for the week involves hauling stuff. You’ve just moved into a really cool old Victorian house, and your hodgepodge collection of furniture amassed over the years looks terribly out-of-place. So you’ve been traveling around to antique shops, flea markets, and estate sales in search of the proper pieces to fill your new home. Whenever something didn’t fit in your RAV4, you’ve rented a truck or a van to bring your treasure home.
But last week, disaster struck. You found an absolutely gorgeous purple velvet fainting couch at an estate sale that would have looked spectacular in your front parlor. There was no way it was going to fit in the RAV4, and the estate sale manager refused to hold it for you, so you hauled ass across town to U-Haul and came back with a nice big Econoline, only to find out that the fainting couch had sold ten minutes earlier.
To avoid missing out on any more perfect finds, you’ve been given dispensation to buy a cheap vehicle capable of carrying furniture. You don’t care how it looks, only how well it runs and how much stuff it can hold. You’ve narrowed the field down to these two. Let’s take a look at them.
1990 Ford Ranger XLT – $2,500
Engine/drivetrain: 2.9-liter OHV V6, four-speed automatic, RWD
Location: Trenton, MI
Odometer reading: 109,000 miles (or maybe 209,000?)
Operational status: Runs and drives well
You know this truck. It ain’t no stranger. Ford’s compact Ranger pickup has gained a reputation over the years for being capable of some amazing feats of strength, and for shrugging off abuse and neglect, making it a perfect choice for a cheap stuff-hauler. And this one is even better suited for such tasks, with a long seven-foot bed. It has a cap to keep things dry, but you can take it off if you need to carry something tall.
The seller has this mislabeled in the ad as a four-cylinder, but it’s a 2.9-liter Cologne V6. It’s mated to an A4LD overdrive automatic, hardly one of Ford’s better efforts, but the seller says it’s in good condition. You’d be wise to keep an eye on the fluid level, though; it leaks a little. It has had a bunch of recent work done to the steering and brakes, as well as a new alternator, battery, and air conditioning compressor.
It’s an XLT, so it’s a little fancier inside than some other Rangers. It has a split bench seat that’s in good condition, the aforementioned air conditioning, and even a tachometer – hardly necessary with an automatic, but nice to have. It’s been a while since I saw the inside of a Ranger this age, but I’m pretty sure that’s not where the rearview mirror is supposed to go. It’s easy enough to glue it back up, though.
It’s rusty, of course; thirty-five years of Michigan road salt will do that. But I have to believe it’s purely cosmetic, not structural; no one would bother putting a new steering box and new brakes in a truck that’s about to break in half. Hit the frame with some rust inhibitor just to be sure, and don’t worry about the rest.
2010 Chrysler Town & Country – $2,500
Engine/drivetrain: 3.8-liter OHV V6, six-speed automatic, FWD
Location: Columbus, OH
Odometer reading: 159,000 miles
Operational status: Runs and drives well
Pickup trucks are the quintessential stuff-haulers, but since the 1980s, a new breed of vehicle has taken over those duties for some households: the minivan. Over the years, the breed has been improved, with more power, more versatility, and more comfort. This Chrysler Town & Country is new enough to have some of the cool modern features, but old enough to have hit the bottom of its depreciation curve.
It’s powered by a 3.8-liter version of the pushrod V6 that first appeared in Chrysler minivans in the early 1990s, along with a six-speed automatic that makes it a bit more efficient. We don’t get a lot of information about its mechanical condition or history, apart from “drives great.” But for a vehicle this age and price, the history doesn’t matter much anyway. If it runs fine now, just maintain it as-is.
The best part of depreciation is that it’s the great equalizer; this van was a lot more expensive new than a plain-Jane Dodge Caravan, but at this age, you can get all the fancy stuff for the same price. It’s got leather seats and all the power goodies, and the seller says the air conditioning works fine. And as far as stuff-hauling capability goes, it has Chrysler’s clever Stow ‘N Go seats that simply fold flat into the floor.
The tin worm has been snacking on this van, too, and it’s a bigger deal since it’s a unibody. Any rust is potentially structural. It doesn’t look too advanced yet, but best take a look underneath to make sure. It also has a little body damage here and there, but you’re not buying it for its looks.
Either one of these would be a fine choice for a second or third vehicle strictly for occasional stuff-hauling duty. And I made sure they’re the same price, just to take that out of the equation. So which one would you choose? Hurry up; there’s a great armoire in an antique shop downtown with your name on it. It’s not going to haul itself home.
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