That headline sure sounds like a lie, doesn’t it? Or, at least, the most debased sort of shameless clickbait? Well, kinda, sure, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t true, at least in some sense. The vehicle I’m talking about – which is an official Bugatti-badged vehicle, for sale on the very same website where you can reserve your new Tourbillion – is one that has actually been available for a couple of years, though I’ll admit this is the first I’ve actually heard about it. I think this is important information for a certain element of our readership that is absolutely determined to own a brand-new Bugatti but is currently in a financial situation that requires an Arby’s sandwich to be bought on an installment plan. If you’re someone in that coveted demographic, I encourage you to read on.
What I’m going to show you is a vehicle that is a Bugatti, just perhaps not the type of Bugatti you’re used to. It does, however, perform the same fundamental job as a Chiron or a Veyron or whatever, in that it can transport you, via wheels, from one location to another, using the power from an on-board motor. This is not some pedal bicycle I’m talking about here; this is an actual motor vehicle, with lights and instruments and everything like that.
It’s a scooter.
Yep, an e-scooter! But not just any e-scooter, this is a Bugatti e-scooter! Also, it is kind of just any e-scooter, because this e-scooter is actually made by Bytech, a company that makes a lot of USB chargers and selfie sticks and karaoke microphones and that kind of crap. Seems like the sorts of stuff you’d find at a 5 Below, which is fine–there’s a place for that stuff.
And, to be fair, this Bugatti e-scooter has some nice features, like a dual brake system with some brake regen capability, turn signals (just like a real Bugatti!), and a fun puddle light projector at the rear:
Oooh, swanky! The specs on the scooter are probably just dust. But the numbers that are associated with the various capabilities and capacities of the scooter are that it has a 1000W motor and is capable of speeds up to 22 mph, and a range of 37 miles, and can carry up to about 286 pounds of people-meat. All this for $1,800, which is a fraction of the cost of a new Nissan Versa, but maybe is also stupidly expensive when compared with any number of similar e-scooters.
Like this one, one of the first I found on Alibaba:
This scooter sells for about $282 in quantity, but $380 if you just want one, so, it’s about one-fifth the cost of the Bugatti scooter. It has a more powerful motor at 1100W, a much greater range of 62 miles, it also has a headlight and instruments and all that other stuff, and it’s just one of so very many at about this price, all with generally the same functionality as the Bugatti one.
It does not have a cool EB monogram puddle light, though.
I guess what I’m saying is that this Bugatti scooter seems to be ridiculously overpriced, but that’s hardly shocking, isn’t it? It’s a Bugatti! It has Bugatti badges! And for people with plenty of money and deep, crippling insecurities, those silly badges are worth every penny.
Look, here’s a review of one! It’s pretty much exactly what you’d expect! Another escooter, almost indistinguishable from hundreds of other e-scooters, but this one lets people know that you really shouldn’t be trusted with money, even before they talk to you.
Also, non-pneumatic tires? That’s sort of surprising. But I guess you’d be spared the indignity of getting a flat tire and having to ask for help fixing the flat on your Bugatti scooter.
I don’t think I can really be objective or fair here; I think this scooter is deeply, painfully stupid and a callow, cynical attempt to squeeze even more money from the Bugatti name. I know that’s what businesses are supposed to do, and if they can find people willing to drop $1,800 on an e-scooter worth about a quarter of that price, then great for them. But I think most consumers can get the exact same benefits and effect of Bugatti scooter ownership with a $300 Alibaba scooter and a tattoo on their forehead that reads “SUCKER” or something similar. Maybe “CHUMP?”
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