Every car has a story. Cars are more than transportation devices; they’re spaces you can cry in, sing in, or, when the cards are all down, even stay in. I like to think about the stories about the cars I’ve seen for sale online. I suppose I’m not the only one, as a pair of readers imagined a whole story about a broken Porsche 928.
Mark wrote a Halloween-themed showdown against a 2006 Buick Rendezvous, a 2001 BMW 540i, a 1981 Porsche 928, and a 1976 Chevrolet Camaro, asking you to write a movie pitch. James McHenry:
The 928? Simple. An overconfident (and probably handsome) car enthusiast buys it, dreams of driving it up and down the California Coast filling his head.
However, things start to go sour. The parts are hideously expensive, but he gets on with it anyway. Then, as soon as it runs, something else breaks. The part prices keep going up. It becomes an obsession. This damn thing will run right or else!
Then the transmission falls on his face, scarring his good looks. His beautiful wife, unable to take anymore, leaves him and takes the kids. He goes bankrupt. Finally the repo men come, for the house and his car. In an obsessive rage he puts them all down in a gory bloodbath.
Cut to 50 years later. The house is run down and overgrown. The man is old and creaky. He still tries to make the car run.
The car still doesn’t run.
Cyko9 adds to the story:
Here’s the ending (SPOILER!): The old man hobbles out to the garage. He’s barely able to walk, and he trips on his walker as he sits in the driver’s seat. Breath is labored as he struggles to insert the keys. He knows the outcome, but he’s got to turn it over just once more. Click… and nothing. Even the electrical systems don’t light up. A long breath and the old man falls back in his seat. He is no more. He has been defeated.
Garage exterior. The camera slowly pulls away from the scene. REV! The roar of a 5L V8 and the scene goes black. Ending theme and credits.
SlowCarFast:
Someone buys the BMW, drives it home, elated at their good fortune to acquire such a cool, iconic car!
The next day, they get in to drive to work, and the doors lock and the ignition refuses to start. After trying everything to get the car to release him or drive to work, he discovered a mysterious note in the armrest instructing him to feed currency into the air conditioning vent to the right of the steering wheel. He adds a dollar and the car’s dash lights up, and the car starts up, but when he starts to drive it, it stalls at the first stop sign. A $5 bill gets him down the street. After $40 gets him to the ATM, he loads up on the necessary currency to incentivize his car to function properly.
Eventually, our protagonist gets to work and home, tired but safe. $10 gets the door open, and he heads inside for dinner and sleep.
Still, he dreams about how great the car was when it was driving, and he is irresistibly drawn to repeating the experience the next day, and the day after that, and the day after that……
This COTD will go on forever if I paste in any additional pitches. I highly recommend reading the story’s comments.
Dan wrote about David Adams, the man with a complete collection of Jeep grilles. Cheap Bastard:
“David Adams has a 50-foot wall covered in Jeep grilles.”
Why the alias? We all know which David this story is really about.
Huja Shaw:
If this place ever gets burgled, I know who my number one “person of interest” would be.
Data:
Elise (NHRN): No.
CarEsq:
What, you guys didn’t want to come up with a proper alias, so you only changed one name?
Have a great weekend, everyone!
The post These Readers Created An Entire Story Based On One Broken Porsche For Sale: COTD appeared first on The Autopian.
