I like to use this space to ask probing questions about cars that cut to the very heart of why we’re enthusiasts. I want to know how automobiles became such an important part of our lives, and how being in the car community enriches us.
Not this time. I just want to know what kind of cars the Bradys would own if TV’s most famous bunch were appearing on our flat screens today, rebooted for a modern spin on family fun and hilarious hijinks. And maybe Alice is a robot? I’m still wokshopping it.
For any younger readers who have no idea what I’m talking about: As kids, the television clicked on after we got back from school, and inevitably one station would constantly show reruns of a sitcom that originally ran from 1969 to 1974 about a man named Brady and “a lovely lady” with three kids apiece who, after losing the partners they created their broods with, get married to instantly form a blended family of a half-dozen children. A tale as old as time, really, and if Mike and Carol murdered each other’s spouses in order to be together, well, the heart wants what the heart wants.
I was born an Autopian, so the appeal of the show to me was the fact that the family cars played major roles in many of storylines; certainly, they made a lot of appearances. The main family ride, usually driven by wife Carol Brady, was always a “mid-sized” Plymouth Satellite wagon, starting with a 1969 model.
It was later replaced by newer, more “fuselage” style versions such as this 1971 at the Grand Canyon.
Architect Mike Brady was always untethered by the demands of the children; the kids shared two smallish bedrooms and one bath while he had an enormous “den” all to himself:
Also, he seemed blissfully unaware of the need for a car suited to such a large family, though the pilot episode featured a large Dodge Monaco convertible:
However, as soon as the two broods combined to a party of eight (nine with live-in maid Alice), he inexplicably bought small Plymouth Barracuda convertibles:
For the final season, Mike got a seemingly-more-appropriate barge-like Chevy Caprice convertible:
This is a car that you could ostensibly seat four across in on the park-bench-like seats, but in reality there’s a lot less room in that thing than you’d think. It’s also terrible for driving around a gymkhana-style course and having to get as close to an egg on a cone as possible.
Fast forward fifty years (ouch!) and one has to contemplate what a modern interpretation of the Brady Bunch family might have in their rather fake-looking driveway. Mike seemed like a pretty successful guy, so one would hope that he could have afforded a sizeable vehicle for Carol, like a Yukon Denali or maybe one of those new Wagoneers that I don’t like.
If Mike was really as selfish in terms of cars as he seemed in the original show, I could see him going all-out with a Lexus LC500 convertible; it’s one of the few droptops you can get, especially with “four seats” (yeah, I’ve seen the back row of that thing, and I know.)
What do you think our Brady crew would be driving in a more modern-day reboot? What might Greg or Marcia drive in hilarious “getting their first car” episodes? What if The Brady Bunch had first aired in 1985, or 1995? Have some fun!
Top graphic image: Paramount Television screenshot
The post What Would The Family Cars On The Brady Bunch Be If The Show Took Place Today? Autopian Asks appeared first on The Autopian.
